No One Else's Body is Any of Your Business
Reminder:
You don’t need — and you aren’t entitled — to have an opinion on anyone else’s body.
We've talked recently about:
why BMI isn't a valuable tool, and
that even physicians sometimes rely too much on those indicators -- at the expense of patients' actual health.
Now a gentle reminder: If healthcare professionals shouldn't be judging people solely on their weight and BMI, neither should you. 💁♀️
We cannot tell how healthy someone is by looking at them, and we are not entitled to have opinions on anyone else's body (unless they specifically ask, as in a trainer/client relationship, and even then, that doesn't need to be the main focus!)
People come in all different shapes and sizes. We always have.
Diet companies that make literally BILLIONS of dollars want to promote a certain thin, lean ideal, but just look at art throughout history and you'll see there have always been bodies of different shapes and sizes.
We've been conditioned -- through weight loss features in magazines, commercials for Noom, WW, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, etc., and TV shows like "The Biggest Loser" and "Celebrity Fit Club" -- to obsess about bodies and weight.
We see photos and videos that always idealize a thinner body and we watch and read as people critique others' bodies.
We've forgotten that a person's weight and physical appearance are usually the least important and interesting things about them.
What a person looks like, what they weigh, whether or not they exercise, how healthy they are -- none of that has any bearing on the kind of human being they are.
Frankly, if weight and looks are all you have to say about someone, you probably don't know them well enough to be commenting at all.
A few years ago, someone referred a potential client to me. They told me all about this person's goals, what they were working towards, then added: "And they should probably lose some weight."
When I asked if the potential client wanted to lose weight, the person referring them said, "I don't know, but they could probably lose about 50 lbs."
No! That is simply not an opinion to have about anyone else's body.
People can decide to lose weight or not, for reasons that are valid to their own lives, and it is not up to anyone else to decide that based on a simple glance at their bodies.
Besides, the fact that someone has lost weight is not necessarily proof that they've improved their health, regardless of what all the ads for weight loss ads will tell you.
I admit that when I was just starting on my own fitness journey, years before I had any certifications or ever thought about working in the industry, I thought people who weren't "in shape" just didn't know what to do or put in the time to do it -- as if normal, adult human beings have the same number of responsibilities and time to exercise as a 19-year-old on a college meal plan.
This is the piece many people, including health professionals, are still missing -- that anyone can get fitter and healthier if they just try harder.
It's more complex than that.
We focus on fitness and nutrition because it's what we can control, and it's what sells products.
We also need to consider things that are out of our individual control like genetics, socioeconomic status, social support networks, access to healthcare, environmental factors, and discrimination. For example:
A person who has to take public transportation, or who is a single parent, is going to have FAR less time in their day for working out and meal prepping than someone who has a car and/or a support system.
Someone who works two jobs likely won't have the time or financial resources to buy a Peloton or join a gym, and sure, it costs nothing to get outside and walk, but what if they don't live in a safe, well-lit neighborhood with sidewalks?
If someone has an illness or injury that's preventing them from feeling good or moving without pain, they're more likely to get treated if they have a salaried job with time off and access to healthcare than an hourly employee who doesn't have benefits.
No one could tell any of that just by looking at someone, just like we can't determine how healthy someone is by looking at their body.
(P.S. Saying "I'm just worried about their health" is not a valid reason for commenting on someone's body! Their health, like their weight, is also not your business unless they've specifically asked for your input.)
If someone's appearance, weight, or "health" is bringing up strong feelings or biases for you, that actually has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with the way we, as a society, have been trained to think it's okay to pass judgment on other people's bodies.
It's not.
This week, I challenge you to notice if you start to form unsolicited opinions on others' appearances and be aware of the kinds of thoughts that come up. Then remind yourself that we are all so much more than how we look.
