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Stop comparing yourself to others & to past versions of yourself
If comparison is the thief of joy, it's also the enemy of progress.
When we're so focused on what other people are doing that we're not, we're not directing our time, energy, and attention toward things that will benefit us right now, in the stages of life and fitness we're in at this moment.
It's especially easy in today's world, watching everyone else's highlight reel on social media, to think we're behind, we're lacking, we're not measuring up.
It happened to me this weekend!
I hit a deadlift PR (personal record) that I wasn't sure I was even going to try for, because my hands were torn up from climbing the day before and my hamstrings weren't feeling it.
I was honestly pretty impressed with myself...until I saw a girl on Instagram deadlifting the same amount for way more reps.
As I started feeling like I "should" be able to do more, I had to check myself:
I know nothing about that person, her size, her background, her age, not a darn thing
I know nothing about her training, except the fact that she PR'd as part of a research study, which means her programming was probably much more structured and focused than mine has been
I had just taught a class so my legs weren't fresh, plus with my previously mentioned hamstring and grip issues, I initially wasn't even going to try for a PR! The fact that I did means I was feeling stronger than I thought and had already overshot my own expectations for myself on that day
What we see on social media is a tiny slice of someone else's life. We can get sucked into comparing ourselves instead of remembering that:
Everyone has different goals and values and things that are important to them
Everyone has different responsibilities, time constraints, financial considerations, physical capacity, and goals
Even when we can tune out what other people are doing and remember that we're all on different journeys, the comparison trap can still get us.
There's a little phrase that can be far more demoralizing than what someone else is posting on social media, and it's "I used to..."
"I used to be able to bench ____ lbs."
"I used to fit into this outfit."
"I used to have so much time to go to the gym."
Comparing ourselves to a previous version of ourselves can be brutal, especially if there are things about the current version of you that you want to change.
When those feelings start to come up, as they do with many of my clients, it's important to take a minute, take a breath, and look objectively at the situation.
When you change jobs, move houses, have babies, divorce, marry or remarry, and experience trauma, loss, injury, or illness, it literally changes your life inside and out.
Those life events impact your finances, your location, your routine, your nutrition and exercise habits, your physical abilities, and your mental health. It affects your body at a cellular level. And all of those components impact your physical health and your ability to meet certain performance or aesthetic standards.
Why, when literally every aspect of life has been affected by a major change, do we so often expect our bodies to remain the same?
It's not realistic.
The advice I give my clients (and myself!) is to take a pause. Reflect on where you are right now in your life.
Maybe you can't bench what you did in college, but maybe you also haven't done it consistently in 25 years, and maybe even if you could, it wouldn't actually help you with your current goals.
Maybe you can't fit into your pre-baby jeans because your body literally rearranged itself to accommodate your pregnancy and your actual physical structure isn't the same anymore.
Maybe you used to feel better about your health and fitness because you were in the gym every day, but you got a promotion and different hours and a better paycheck so you're better off in other areas of your life.
Maybe you don't have the strength or the leanness you used to, but you survived serious injuries or health events and you're still here.
Give yourself grace, and keep doing the work.
Your life isn't the same as it once was, and it's never been the same as anyone else's, and comparison only steals your joy and causes frustration instead of motivation.
Focus on what you can control and keep running your own race. If you need help, reach out. I'm here for you.
